Say Goodbye to Lawn Gnome Publishing in Downtown Phoenix

Here’s a piece I wrote for the Phoenix New Times about the closing of Lawn Gnome Publishing, a local bookstore/performance venue that hosted great shows like PEP Rally and performances by poets like Michael C. Ford, Saul Williams, and Jesse Parent.

Phoenix New Times: Say Goodbye to Lawn Gnome Publishing in Downtown Phoenix

 

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Dropping a New Zine Thursday!

This Thursday I’ll be performing once again at Lawn Gnome Publishing’s PEP Rally variety show. This week the topic is a subject near and dear to my heart: the occult! I’m excited to be trying out a new bit…. and I’m also excited because I’ll be selling a new occult-y zine, “Elephant Head”, at the show! The first print run is only 23 copies, and each individual copy comes with its own special insert. I’ll be selling them for $5 (and if you happen to be at the show and want one but are short on cash- we can work out some kind of trade).

I started working on “Elephant Head” back towards the end of August, and then put it on the shelf. Over the last couple of weeks, inspiration struck again and I dusted it off and added some finishing textual touches and it is good to go!

A sneak peak at what ze zine looked like a few months ago:

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A Master Class in Hatin’

A few weeks ago at Lawn Gnome Publishing’s “PEP Rally: Jealousy” show (hosted by Wonder Twins Matt Storrs & Hattie Jean Hayes), I did a piece as my alter-ego Dr. Alfred Avid. Avid is a Professor of Haterology, and explained to the audience how one can become a hater (and the best way to maximize one’s total hatefulness). Avid also spent a good amount of time talking shit about Wheelchair Jimmy- I mean, Drake.

Listen and learn a thing or two-

PEP Rally: Jealousy Podcast

Four Tattoo Ideas Live Onstage

Check it out, homeys. Last night your boy got asked to do something at PEP Rally at Lawn Gnome Publishing for their “Ink” show. Normally I do some characters and shit, put on some wigs, act all English or crazy or whatever, but I thought that last night I would go as my most authentic self. For reals. So I got my Sylvia Plath on, you know what I’m saying, sticking my head in the ol’ Easy-Bake Oven (*puff puff cough*) to get in The Zone and got onstage.

So for this show I showed the audience my four tattoo ideas. See, I’ve been meaning to get a new tattoo for years now and my boy Gooch and I have come up with some sick designs. Like, sicker than mongoose flu, bros. So I hads to show everyone these sick designs for, like, crowd-surfing purposes. Wait: I mean crowd-sourcing. So like the audience would vote for which design I’d put on my body next.

TAT #1

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This is a tat of a bong made out of Gandalf’s head. Because I like to get high as fuck, and nothing would jack you up higher than balls like smoking up a wizard, son.

TAT #2

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So this tat symbolizes my love of the movie “Xanadu”, that I think rollerskates and rainbows are bitchin’ as hell, and that Olivia Newton-John has got some bodacious cans, brah.

TAT #3

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This tat is about the only thing I love more than smoking weed, and that’s eating pussy, dawg. My boy Gooch said I’m like the Cookie Monster of cunnilingus and I was like, damn, that’s it! I’m The Pussy Monster! So here it is. And if you were wondering what that censored bar is, when I first drew this he was holding up a vagina. But it looked kind of weird, like why he is holding up a vagina disconnected from a human being, right? I mean, the only people who walk around holding nuthin’ but genitals is serial killers and that’s not the kind of message I’m trying to project, feel me?

TAT #4

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And this last tat is a swastika made out of dicks. This symbolizes my straight-up don’t-give-a-fuck, shock-the-system, hack-the-planet, paradigm-shifting, damn-the-man-to-the-max attitude. Nothing says “Yo, I don’t give a fuck about your rules” like a swastika made out of dicks, bro. It’s the ultimate symbol of free speech. And it’s not hateful, because check it: Nazis were super-homophobic, right? No way they’d ever let a swastika be made out of dicks! And I’m half Jewish, so I’m 50% sure I can get away with this.

I showed the audience my four tat ideas and they were all like, dude, #3 or go home. And I was like cool. And that was my night last night. Peace.