That Time I Sacrificed My Girlfriend’s Cat To Satan

For this piece, the latest in a series of fake concert reviews for The Hard Times’ Hard Style section, I write about how going to a Slayer show can bring a couple closer together.

The Hard Times: Watching Slayer Live Gave Me the Courage to Tell My Girlfriend I Sacrificed Her Heart to Satan

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I Ran My Own Record Label For A Month And Now I Only See My Friends In Small Claims Court (RUNT OF THE WEB)

Here’s a piece I wrote for Runt Of The Web about why real friends never let their friends start a record label. Don’t enable these poor, desperate souls. You’re never putting your kid through college by hawking Moby Grape reissues.

Runt Of The Web: I Ran My Own Record Label For A Month And Now I Only See My Friends In Small Claims Court