It’s been fascinating watching the weird hand-wringing and fallout online over the antifa K.O. of Richard Spencer. I figured 2017 was going to be an interesting year; I just wasn’t counting on it being “arguing over the ethics of Nazi punch-outs” levels of interesting. Here’s a little piece/rant I wrote about it on Medium (spoiler alert- I’m Pro Beatdown).
“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”
The Consolations of Conspiracy
It must be reassuring
to think that someone
is steering the ship
into the iceberg,
and that your drowning
in the lower levels
is part of some grand design and not just piss-poor luck
- Every State Of The Union address would be a live show, with ‘Ye dropping policy in-between hit after hit.
- Every time his approval ratings would start to dip he’d release a mix-tape.
- Think of the North Korean diss tracks!
- The idea of the Kardashians being that close to real power is so delightfully preposterous that it must happen.
- He’d be the only President with his own avant-garde, haute-couture fashion line.
- He’d hire Alejandro Jodorowsky to redesign the interior of the White House into The Sanctum of Supreme Power.
- Jay-Z: Secretary of State. “Mandatory solar panels on every government building?! You’re crazy for this one, ‘Hov!”
- At least he owns up to the fact that he’s totally narcissistic, attention-seeking and ambitious. All basic qualifications for being Commander in Chief.
- He isn’t afraid to speak his mind. Which would make things highly entertaining, up until the point he calls out Putin for looking like a wrinkled ball-sac, thus triggering a nuclear holocaust that would incinerate us all.
- He’s still a more viable, appealing candidate than pretty much every other politician currently in existence.