4 Lovely Weddings Ruined By Slash Ripping A Solo (The Hard Times)

Here’s another piece by yours truly that made it into The Hard Times. Consider it a dire warning about the REAL greatest threat to the august institution of marriage: The shredtastic guitar riffing of Slash.

The Hard Times: 4 Lovely Weddings Ruined By Slash Ripping A Solo4 Lovely Weddings Ruined By Slash Ripping A Solo

Santa Claus Pick Up Lines Vol. 1

Girl, I wanna roast my chestnuts over your open fire.

I spit game so cold, that’s why bitches call my dick the North Pole!

I got all the fly girlies lining up around the block to sit in my lap and tell me what they really want for Xmas… my eggnog!

I only work one day a year cause I spend the other 364 days with ho-ho-hos on my jingle bells.

Girl, your spirit animal must be a reindeer cause I’d let you pull my sleigh all night long.

Hey girl, I’d really enjoy your cookies and milk, waiting for me by the fireplace.

Girl, I spend almost 12 hours going up and down chimneys, so you know I gets nasty.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: A threesome.