Six More Christmas Haiku

1.

No more coal: I’ll fill
stockings with used CDs of
R.E.M.’s “Monster”

2.

You’d binge on cookies
too if your wife stopped sucking
on your candy cane.

3.

Right now my beard looks
like a peppermint because
it’s Miss Claus’s ”time”.

4.

What’s the one thing I
like eating more than cookies?
Ask your mom. She’d know.

5.

I use reindeer to
travel cause you can’t eat a
plane when you’re stranded.

6.

Hey girl, why don’t you
sit on my lap and tell me
what you really want.

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